Time To Find Some Honest Work


Rodoslav suggested to me the other day that I might want to try and find some form of steady employment. So far I have been able to make my rent payments, but the methods that I have been using have been described at best as... "unsound"
My most profitable technique so far is a technique that I like to call "The Dark Stalker." It is very simple in theory, but can be quite challenging in practice. There is quite a bit of planning involved.
First of all, I have to choose my location carefully. It has to be a location where the security parameters are not very high. Also, It cannot have too much human traffic, at least at some point during its hours of operation.
The location that I have chosen is the biology building at the nearby university. There are quite a bit of students coming in and out in the daylight hours, but there are considerably less at night. During these hours of quiet, I make my way to the higher floors and begin laying out the rest of my strategy.
Once I am on the proper floor, I have to find a particular room where research of some sort is being conducted. I find that the medium sized laboratories are best suited for this purpose. At this point, I need to determine the patterns of those going in and out of this room. Most of the time, I will find that the occupancy of the room is limited to just one person. If am able to determine that this person can steadily be found conducting research alone, then I have found my victim.
You are probably very curious as to what I am going to do at this point. You should not be too alarmed, as no one is going to be harmed. (at least in a physical sense) You see, I have an amazing ability that very few humans possess. I have the ability to shape shift into almost any form I choose. The only limitations to my power is that I cannot become far larger or smaller in size than my original body. I could easily become 8 feet tall, but not 80 feet. (yes, very shameful indeed) I use my shape shifting ability to implement my "Dark Stalker" plan
When my target is the least suspecting, I very stealthily make my way into the room. when I am almost upon my victim, I transform. I almost always do it when there back is turned to them. For the purposes of the dark stalker, I usually assume this form:






Of course, I never feel it necessary to alert them to my presence. When I complete my transformations into some of my more seemingly sinister forms, there is always some kind of indicator that something evil is afoot. Perhaps you can say that an uncanny chill can be felt in the air. However, my victims are usually alerted by the unnatural waves of evil that are pulsating from my core. It is as if they are at once overtaken by waves of dread, or as if a beam of pure malice was being fired into their soul. It is at that point when they feel the need to turn around. They are at once confronted by my horrible visage.
So great is their fear, that they cannot speak. They cannot scream. They cannot move. There is absolutely nothing they can do. At this point, I outstretch my hand to them. I have a difficult time speaking in this form, but I still try to make it clear that I am asking for money. It usually comes out as just one word, muuhhhhnnneeeeyy! It is usually very long and raspy, and is accompanied by a bizarre echo. Upon hearing this, they usually do nothing. They simply stand there, frozen, unresponsive. I really need I need to work on my pronunciation. I feel that it will help streamline the whole process.
The next step is to usually pat them down with my hideously deformed hands, trying to feel where they might keep their money. I would not feel too bad for these people. I am always actually quite gentle. After I take what I need, I usually retreat back into the darkness from which I came.
I don't see why Rodoslav has to frown on me so. Are my actions truly that deplorable? Most of the time, I do not take the bulk of their money. In fact, I always leave them with enough cash so they can pay the exit toll from the parking lot.
Rodoslav tells me that he has arranged for me some honest work. He tells me that my future employers will contact me in the next two weeks. I cannot wait! It will be very nice to take the next step towards becoming a part of normal human society.