Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I continue my meaningless life






I slept fairly well last night. It seems that plummeting from a helicopter and crashing through the roof of your house does wonders for Insomnia.


I awoke extremely refreshed. It did not bother me that my home was in shambles. Seeing as how I had a free day on my hands, I decided to make the best of it. I thought this would be a perfectly good opportunity to wonder around my neighborhood and contemplate life.


It seemed that only after walking a short distance, the poverty level that I was accustomed to was greatly reduced. I began to notice cars that have not suffered severe damage, and also yards that did not have an endless amount of garbage scattered about. It is strange how human beings can behave so differently from one area to the next.


As I continued to walk, a great change had come about me. I was no longer tormented as severely by the demons of my own mind. Their chatter seemed to be lessened. I did not understand how this was possible. After all, I had not consumed a double ration of Natty Lite in quite some time.


Furthermore, It seemed that my concentration had become enhanced. Walking down the sidewalk had become an act in itself. To clarify, I focused on that which I saw. I heard that which I heard. No longer was I concerned with the economy. I was now able to detect minute occurrences that I was previously blind to.


After walking a good half-hour, I also noticed that I had achieved a higher state of self-awareness. On the slight occasion when my mind had begun to drift, I took notice. I had acquired the ability to become a passive observer of my thoughts. With this new ability, I could analyze my more bizarre musings from a detached perspective. This was, of course, very fortunate, seeing as how the vast majority of my thoughts were filled with rage and were without merit.


After two hours, I returned home. Though my first desire was to rapidly consume an extreme amount of modestly-priced charcoal filtered vodka, I was able to avert this calamity. I acted like a gentleman and a scholar. I took it upon myself to clean my filthy domicile instead. After all, Rodoslav was content with being a notorious slob.


After cleaning the bathrooms and living area, I thought it might be best to prepare a meal. Instead of consuming my normal meal of raw cod-fish, discarded ham-bones, and Vienna Sausages, I thought I might try that which is referred to as "cooking."


I turned the burners on my stove to maximum temperature. Upon the stove, I placed a small pot, filled with liquid fat. After the fat had achieved the desired heat, I tossed in some pieces of sliced up chicken. In my best estimation, these chickens were not lovingly killed. I believed they suffered from some type of industrial-based destruction.


I watched the chicken sizzle. Normally, in these circumstances, I would imagine as if the bodies of my adversaries were in the pot, sizzling away. Now I simply regarded it as pieces of mechanically sliced up chicken. Nothing more, nothing less. Its amazing how you can find such simplistic beauty in such an unlikely place.

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